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legendofaband
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Name: Lindsay
Birthday: 9/12/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: manga,anime,painting,writing my own manga
(futago),playing guitar,playing with cars,writing music,painting,and writing poems apparently,
Expertise: ummm....i do lots of things,but only a little,ya know? but i am probably better at writing manga
Occupation: Marketing
Industry: Business
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
12/8/2003
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| why can't my life seem as good as i know it is? i have a weight on my heart that keeps getting heavier. someone tell me what to feel. any feeling would be better. i did a very stupid thing on friday. i just about forced my boyfriend to do something he promised not to do. now he feels bad for breaking his promise, but in truth its my fault. then i told him that when he tries to help me by telling me not to worry about stuff, it just makes me feel like i cant talk to him about my problems, and my worries. so that day was devastating for him.......i feel so bad. i dont want to hurt him, but thats just what i did...just kill me. and then theres the whole regret thing. i regret losing so much due to my own stupidity. i lost so many friends because of stupid reasons. one of them called me the other day. it felt good to hear her voice. if only it were one of the better friends i lost...or should i say pushed away? where are my friends when i need them most? gone away.......at least i have lindsay and brenna...but i still have a hole in my heart. i lost so many friends, but only one did i truly love like my sister. sometimes i wonder about her. thats why i am here, after all... | | |
| what the hell do i do now? what am i feeling....and WHY?!? oh boy.....what is this? regret? sadness has replaced the misplaced anger that was only covering fear...fear that needed to be expressed instead of hidden. too late now i suppose.can any offer me council? i beg it of you...how do you say i am sorry after so long for something so wrong? so profoundly ignorant? perhaps that is the entire purpose of this entry....to speak without speaking, to ask forgiveness without asking....we shall see what shall come of it. for such is the way of it...to find and lose, as it seems to those whose boat is on the running stream... | | |
| I've been doing a lot of thinking...about growing older, and moving on. No one wants to be told that they're getting on, and may be going away for a long, long stay.. But just HOW long? And who knows? How and where will my spirit go? Will it soar like jazz on a saxaphone, or evaporate on a breeze? Tell me if life is eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon. Here on earth I'm a lost soul, ever trying to find my way back home. Maybe that's why each new star is born...expanding heaven's room, eternity in bloom. And will I see you up in that heaven? In all it's light will I know you there? Will we say the things that we never dared, if wishing makes it so? Please let me know if life is eternal, and if love is immortal, and if death is only a horizon. I believe life is eternal as we move into the light, and a horizon is nothing but the limit of our sight...
- Carly | | |
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cause i love him......ni mela ye,macar....Eruantalon....nim estel,estel ni.ni estel ye... | | |
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hello, my felowkia.................. | | |
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